The following Unsent Letter is dedicated to a special coworker. It's entitled:
GO HOME PHLEGMY!

Seriously, I'm sorry you're feeling bad. But I really don't need you germing up the office. These windows don't open. We're sharing the same recycled air here. And I do NOT want to breathe in whatever mutant germ has caused you to make that sound. It sounds like one of those cars in the old Disney cartoons is at the desk beside me, coughing and sputtering. Not to mention the insessant sniffling. Blow your nose, dude. BUT NOT IN HERE, GROSS.
And now comes the spitting. That's right, the spitting. Into a doubled up Walmart bag sitting on the floor. That's not sanitary. Two WalMart bags is not a sufficient buffer between your mucus and the rest of the world. Seriously. Biological warfare is prohibited by the Geneva Convention, so you and your bag'o'mucus should be at home. Where you can keep your germs close by.

GO HOME. GOHOMEGOHOMEGOHOOOOOME.
Oh, and Feel better!
amanda

Instead of a post today we'll be having a new Unsent Letter. You can find the rest here: Letters to An Unsuspecting Public It's been a while since I updated. It's hard to be inspired at work. Most of my letters are: Dear Customers, STOP CALLING ME AND ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS. Hopefully I'll have more soon.

Dear Local Companies,

I know you are proud of your kids. And you think that they are just the cutest thing ever and are destined for fame and fortune. I'm not going to argue with you. I know a losing battle when I see one. This is my point: in spite of Junior's obvious talent, there is no need to put him in the commercial for your business. Seriously, these kids are everywhere. Some are in suits, some are rapping, I really think that one commericial is just a kid crying run through that AutoTune app. See, as cute as the Little Darlings are, I DON'T WANT TO BUY STUFF FROM THEM. Especially not big ticket items like cars and washing machines.
Maybe that's just me.

Don't Even Get Me Started on those LaRue's commercials,
amanda


For those of you not familiar with the LaRue's commercial, you can seem them in all their glory here: